King of the Hill

I created the Hill.

My Hill.

I run up there while you aren't looking.

My Hill.

I'm smart, you're dumb.
I'm big, you're little.
I'm right, you're wrong.

It's my hill and there's nothing you can do about it.

but i want the hill

I take your high hill
Using only the power
Of strictest Haiku

My Hill

i blarst u al awy w/ ilitrassy

My Hill.

I pull out my spellchecker, which gives an output of "I blast you all away with illiteracy.", rendering your attack useless.

My Hill.

I'm just about bored enough to take the hill. You've got better things to do.

My Hill.

Nevar. I always have time for distractions.

My Hill

Ooh, look, something shiny!
*You look*
Gotcha!

Hy Hill.

The shiny thing was a dagger. I slash at you, blood spurts across the hill from your severed jugular, as you tumble down the other side.

My Hill.

I keep tumbling, faster and faster as I circle the tiny worldlet upon which the hill sits. The worldlet is covered in my blood.

Unluckily for you, I am travelling at 98% the speed of light when my body smashes into yours. You crumple. Painfully.

My Hill.

Ouch. You keep flying though, since the energy required to slow your (admittedly light) body is greater than you can muster.

My crumpled body remains.

My Hill.

I change my frame of reference so that it is really you that is moving.

The hill, however, is fixed and eternal. It is the epicentre of its universe.

And now it's mine!

My Hill

Your argument is internally contradictory, since "fixed" cannot coexist with a shifting frame of reference.

You continue flying, straight out of the universe.

My Hill.

i accelerate. screw your constant velocity and intertial reference frames.

my hill.

But I am still (lying) on the hill.

You have not placed any claim on the hill.

My Hill.

i plant my flag at the summit. fly as fast as you like; i claim the hill.

my hill.

hahaha and then i blow up the hill... no ones hill... my hole.... find a new hill

I am the hill get the hell off me

My Hill

But I have your slave papers!

My Hill.

I sit up

No more hill it turns into a mountain

I rotate the universe, meaning the hill is a hill again.

My Hill.

None of you know what just happened. Your minds are too feeble.

But mine is not! The hill is mine!

My Hill.

i walk to the top of the hill and sit down.

my hill.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA